Dear Tatiana:
How old should a girl be to get her ears double pierced?
-Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
The answer is whenever her parents feel like it’s appropriate. Your daughter’s frontal lobe (the part of our brain where our decision making ability comes from) won’t be fully developed until she is 25 at the earliest. She needs to borrow yours in the meantime.
If you are torn on the matter, here are a few things to consider. Observe her typical peers at school. If you are seeing second piercings as a norm, I would be more likely to consider it. (I am not squashing a desire for uniqueness, but my experience has been that the kids who are struggling socially or who are struggling emotionally, tend to attempt to connect with others or express their frustrations by going against the grain. If this sounds like your child, she needs therapy, not a piercing. If it does not apply to your daughter and she is a pretty confident kid, then move to my next step.) Seek to understand her request. That conversation may sound like this “Tell me what it is that you like about a second piercing. What is it that you would like a second piercing to express about you as a person?” If you are comfortable with her responses, I’d say let her go for it. We have got bigger fish to fry with our children than a second piercing. Children need to have some sense of choice and control in order to avoid future power struggles.
Best,
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