Ahh, summer is here! There is so much to love about the carefree and unstructured nature of summer, but more downtime often translates into more screen time for our kids. This creates a concern for many parents because we want to see them do something instead of mindlessly consuming whatever is being served up on YouTube or playing yet another session of Fortnite. Tech can easily steal the fun of summer, if you let it. The good news is there are ways to manage device usage without causing too much conflict with your kids.
Revisit Screen Time Limits:
Much of the conflict stems from not having clear rules around technology usage. Even if you have a technology usage contract in place, it is not uncommon for children and parents to relax those rules during the summer, so right now is a perfect time to revisit your family’s technology contract and make amendments to the rules if needed.
Make sure to involve your kids in creating summertime guidelines so they can feel more invested in the rules and start building skills around self-regulation. For example, if you normally require your kids to dock their technology at 8 p.m. during the school year, you could allow them to negotiate having it for an extra hour in exchange for walking the dog or unloading the dishwasher.
Be clear about the amount of time that you are willing to allow for screen time activities throughout the day and week. Screen time includes time spent on phones, tablets, computers, electronic readers, televisions, and any electronic devices that have a screen. Keep in mind that not all screen time is created equal. For example, a YouTube video that teaches kids how to make a model airplane is different from a YouTube video on singing cats. Focus on quality of content over quantity with the possibility of allowing more time for using screens to help your kids create something rather than just using it for mindless consumption.
Once you and your kids agree on an acceptable amount of summertime screen time, re-post your revised rules in a public area. Don’t forget to share the summertime screen time contract with anyone your kids may be spending time with this summer, including babysitters, Grandparents, or other caregivers.
Enforce No Screen Zones, Times and/or Days:
Days can quickly get usurped if you let your kids start their day with screen time. Instead, try creating a screen free routine in the morning. Create a “must do screen free activities list” that kids should complete before they are allowed to jump on a screen. For example, have them brush teeth and hair, get dressed, make bed, eat breakfast and complete chores before they can access their screens.
Last year, a friend of mine implemented an entire screen free summer. I was super impressed, because, I have to admit, I sometimes use screen time as a babysitter so that I can actually get things done. If an entire tech free summer is more than you can commit to, then commit to small chunks of tech free time instead. For example, eliminate screens during mealtimes. Use dining time as a way to connect with each other without technology on the table! As a matter of fact, devices should be left outside the dining room or kitchen so you can focus on promoting quality communications with the family.
Additionally, enforce a daily digital detox by enforcing screen-free play time every day during the summer vacation, so your children can enjoy creating something, playing pretend, or playing outdoor games! Spending time outdoors has tremendous health benefits. New studies show that spending time in nature improves mental health, enhances memory and ability to focus, and decreases cancer risks. If you are ambitious, implement a screen-free day once per week and get outside!
Give Up on Being the Screen Police:
Many parents tell me how they hate negotiating the end of screen time. The conflict around policing screen time limits is taking a massive toll on families, so use the features on their devices such as Apple’s Family Share Screen Time limits or Google’s Family Link to automatically turn off the devices once the limits have been met. This prevents you from always having to be the bad guy and allows you to more positively engage with your kids.
Develop a List of Screen Free Activities:
Be prepared for withdrawal symptoms from your kids as their screen time gets limited. At first you may experience annoyance, boredom and feelings of frustration. To help ease the transition, help your kids develop a list of screen free activities. It is important not to just say “no” to screen time, but to offer appealing alternatives such as baking a cake, building a fort, or riding a bike. Encourage your children to refer to the created list when they claim they are bored.
Help Your Kids Create Summer-time Goals:
Have they wanted to perfect that gymnastics move, learn how to ride a bike, or redecorate their room? Summertime is a great time to learn about goal setting! Kids who work on personal goals are more motivated, driven, and have an easier time entertaining themselves. Help your child choose a summertime goal; help them develop their own plan to achieve that goal, then schedule tech free time so they can work on it and achieve it. Keep in mind, this is not your goal, it’s your kids’ goals, so they should do the work…not you.
Engage with Your Kids:
The best way to get kids off their phones is to limit their downtime. Although it may not always seem to be true, what your kids really long for is spending time with their parents. That doesn’t mean you need to engage in every second of their day, but when you engage your kids in an activity, they have no choice but to put their phones down. So, take advantage of summer’s more relaxed schedule and make it a priority to reconnect on some level each day. Implement a family board game night or have your kids help you prepare the evening meal. Jump in the pool and splash around with your kids. Time goes by quickly, enjoy these fleeting moments with them.
Keep in mind, it’s OK for kids to be a little bored. Boredom ultimately encourages kids to develop important skills such as the ability to self-play, create, and engage. So, don’t be too quick to jump in and rescue them from boredom. Instead, provide a lot of positive feedback as your child embraces new and healthier entertainment alternatives. Our goal as parents is to help our kids learn to manage their own time; and with a little guidance we can encourage them to stay physically active and socially connected as much offline as on.
Thanks for reading my blog! If you would like to schedule a one-on-one consultation or to book me for a speaking engagement at your community event or organization, send me an email at inquiry@cybersavvy.com. To see more tips, tools and advice on parenting your digital native kids visit www.cybersavvy.com.
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