The Aha! Connection Sleepover Survey Results

17 thoughts on “The Aha! Connection Sleepover Survey Results”

1. Comments for Question 1. What do you think is the proper age to initially consider allowing children to have sleepovers with 1-2 friends?  In other words…what is the youngest age you think kids should be allowed to participate in a 1-2 friend small group sleepover?  –
   I hate sleepovers!
   depends on the child
   Your kid will tell you when they are ready
   Consistent with reasonable maturity and good health with full immunizations.
   Depends on relationship between the friends’ families.
   We don’t allow our three children to sleepover. Do you really ever truly know the parents well? Even if all goes well with the sleepover,the kids will come home tired and cranky. In my opinion, you only get one chance to raise your kids well and protect them from potential life altering dangers. This is referring to the other parents and the kids that show up to these sleepovers.
   We have done this only with a family who are very close friends.
   I wasn’t comfortable spending the night at a friend’s house until I was 12-ish. I have two boys – my oldest was fine with sleeping overs beginning in pre-school but then developed a fear of being away from home in 1st Grade – even staying at his very best friend’s house was uncomfortable for him. This phase lasted through 3rd Grade. My youngest isn’t invited to many sleepovers but has been comfortable since pre-school. I strongly believe you have to know your own child’s comfort level.
   Yikes. Don’t really know yet. I guess I will judge when my child is ready.
   Pre-school is fine for only very good friends that know your child well.
   All ages for family and cousins.
   Very much depends on the child!
   Only if it’s a bday party and/or I know the family well.
   “When they are ready mature wise and can follow rules . Also I MUST know the parents well to allow
   and feel comfortable with parenting skills”
   It depends on the individual child. Some are ready earlier than others to sleep away from home.
   Really depends on the kid. Both of my kids slept out starting in preschool. But I know plenty of kids that weren’t ready until later.
   4 years old if they are ready emotionally.
   Possible exception when for a situation where the entire families are really close in addition to the children. Much more comfortable in the foreign environment if comfortable with the family.
   Age 10
   It also depends on the child, the oldest may have waited longer whereas the youngest is ready sooner.
   Depends on the child and if they’re ready to sleep over. The younger they are, I would allow only one person, maybe two at the most.
   For 1st/2nd grade we had half sleepover. Girls had pizza, cake, games then got in Pjs and watched movie and parents picked up at 10 pm
   3rd grade
   Depends on the child
   maybe younger, it depends on the child and their security/insecurity issues
   dependent on the child’s maturity level
   We had a rule that in order for a new friend spend the night, they had to come over for a play date first. This way both sets of parents and the children knew the house and family they were staying with. This rule went for my kids as well if they were invited to spend the night with a friend.
   3rd grade
   Not kindergarten
   I think the kids would be better able to stay over at a strange house by this age.
   Children younger than this are not emotionally prepared for being separated from parents.
   “For me the biggest question is whether I know and like the other mother and the sleepover friend? Do I trust them with my precious cargo and vice versa?
   I also think it depends on the age / maturity of the kids.”
   *Even at this age, some kids have anxiety.
   I am fine with it as long as the child is ready. We had a few “bail outs” in the early years but my daughters always loved sleep overs.
   Some situations could warrant younger ages (kdg-1st) such as sleeping over when parents are out of town or even the further down in the birth order, some kids are more capable of doing this successfully.
   Only 1 friend at this age…three’s a crowd! And be prepared to pick up your child in the middle of the night, or before bedtime!
   with 1 friend, I think pre-school is okay depending on the kid. My son was having sleepovers in pre school and they went great.
   Only if your children are okay with spending the night out and you know the other family really well.
   Very rare occasions only…
   Really depends on the child between pre-school and 3rd grade I think.
   It really depends on the individual child. We have 3 children & each of them expressed interest in sleepovers at different ages. One was ready by kindergarten & another wasn’t into it until middle school. It really is a child by child basis.
   Definitely depends on the child–my second child was ready earlier than my first because she saw her brother having sleepovers.
   I think this depends on the child mostly. My 2nd child was ready at 2nd grade but my 1st child wasn;t ready until 4th.
   K-1st is absolute youngest outside of family. Prob prefer 2-3rd.

2. Comments for Question 2.  What do you think is the proper age to initially consider allowing children to have sleepover parties?  In other words…what is the youngest age you think kids should be allowed to participate in a sleepover party? 
   depends on host family; what movie will they be watching; wh will be attending
   never
   When parents are clear that they are ready.
   We don’t allow our three children to sleepover. Do you really ever truly know the parents well? Even if all goes well with the sleepover,the kids will come home tired and cranky. In my opinion, you only get one chance to raise your kids well and protect them from potential life altering dangers. This is referring to the other parents and the kids that show up to these sleepovers.
   But also depends on the child. Also depends on the personalities of the parents potentially hosting the party and how comfortable they are with multiples of the same age group who aren’t their own child…
   What parent wants to take this on? Do you have to return the favor?
   I would have said 3rd-4th. I think a lot of this depends on the child, including birth order. If big brother has had friends over then the younger sibs seem to do things earlier.
   My daughter had a sleepover party in kindergarten and the girls had a great time!
   I hate sleepover parties for my girls and try to avoid them as much as possible. The kids are miserable the next day from staying up too late.
   Depends on the number of kinds invited to a party. If it is for a larger number of girls, I would say 4-5th grade more appropriate in today’s world!
   Age 10
   Single sex only
   3-4th grade
   3rd grade
   dependent on how well you know the participants, including the parents
   “Never!

   Seriously, depends on the kid”
   “Each child is different in my opinion and some are ready earlier than others and some like sleepovers more than others.
   I really think you can’t generalize this answer.”
   Parties need to be well defined by the hosting parents, number of children, lights out time etc. The children need to be mature enough to have fun, not cry for mom and dad, and follow directions of the host parents. When my son had one of his first sleepover parties in middle school, I ended up splitting the kids up and making them sleep in different rooms, as they weren’t settling down at all. After that, the kids listened.
   of course this depends on your own kids behavior and comfort level as well as the kids sleeping over.
   Parents tend to push children even before they are ready. That only serves to make many people uncomfortable. Kids who aren’t ready can attend parties with a plan to be picked up late at night.
   I’d say 3rd-4th grade
   “For girls, definitely by 2nd grade, though keep the group small. The older they get, the more kids.
   For boys….it depends on the maturity level of the boys involved.”
   Limited to a small number.
   The more the kids, the later they stay up. Younger kids may not be able to handle the later hours. Also a crowd could be overwhelming.
   We allowed our children to have sleepover birthday parties, and to attend them, starting in kindergarten. However, the requirement was that I knew the parents of all girls sleeping at our house, and that I knew well the parents of sleepovers they were invited to attend.
   Always a bad idea. Parents hate them and kids do not sleep. It takes days to recover.

3. Comments for Question 3. What do you think is the proper age to consider stopping sleepovers?  In other words….is there an age when kids are too old to participate in sleepovers? 

   Don’t know, yet! My kids are still little
   Never to old given friendship and maturity.
   depends on host family
   Boys and girls differ on this. Boys usually lose interest by 9th grade.
   Never too old
   no
   12th grade
   never too old
   No age
   See comments
   Depends on the child and parent
   depneds on the kid and whether or not there are chaperones for the older ones
   Why stop?
   no limit
   Never
   No age
   Depends on the situation because teenage girls in high school may be fine
   After senior in High School
   okay with one kid at a time at any age
   don’t know. haven’t gotten there yet.
   for older teens
   1-2 person sleepovers are fine through hs
   high school graduation
   as long as they are the same sex and there is no romantic relationship going on between the two I don’t think sleep overs need to stop.
   When they realize their beds are more comfortable.
   Have not determined as yet
   Probably not
   They claim they are At sleepovers and can be roaming around. Think they are indispensable.
   Here is another “yes / but” If the parents know each other and their children are often together, then I really can’t see a limit. Of course, all this depends on behavior. Children will make mistakes and I would feel better knowing that they are at least confined to a trusted friend’s home. “Unknown-to-mom-or-dad-friends” not so much. Call the parents, get a feel for it, and then decide. Overnights after prom, etc.
   I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with kids past the age of 16 staying over if it’s past curfew and someone needs to be off the street. My guest room is where they would sleep if they needed it.
   It all has to do with supervision. All parents should contact one another to make sure someone is going to be home. I always call and ask if I can send some snacks…good icebreaker.
   I think sleepovers can be fun and appropriate within the right context.
   It depends on the child and trust level with other parents involved with hosting.
   They are essential once kids are driving because of the curfew for drivers under 18. Just make sure all parents communicate about where the kids are sleeping!!
   This is a tough question. I hate sleepovers and would like to stop my Middle Schooler from doing them but she thinks it will destroy her social life if I don’t let her…..so in reality I’ll say 10th grade but only if I know for a fact the parents are home.
   Once they can drive, they can come home at midnight and sleep in their own bed. Nothing good happens after midnight, especially when they can drive.
   Unfortunately, you can not assume other parents will manage your child as you would like. Will they allow under age alcohol? Will those parents look the other way with kids of opposite sex visiting in bedrooms, or allow drugs in the home. Your teenager will learn quickly which parents do not keep an eye on these things and use those parent’s innocence and stupidity to their advantage. These things happen…please wake up parents!
   Generally, I think by 11th grade, sleepover “parties” are done, especially for boys (I only have boys.) However there are occasions such as when a friend has moved away and comes back to visit that several friends might want to share his company and all spend the night at one home. As a common practice though, I think not. That said, we attend a Magnet school not close to our home so friends are not near by. They do sometimes spend the night out of convenience to not drive home late at night.
   No sleep overs in high school.
   “We had sleepovers until our daughters left for college. Mostly during special occasions, such as dances etc.

   We also had out of town college friends spend the night!”
   No reaso to stop
   If the girls want to spend time together, let them. Building relationships is important and good friends can sometimes be few and far between so why limit it?
   The older I get, the more sleepovers I have with my sorority sisters!
   I only have girls but at 17 and 20 years of age, we still have them at our house and friends houses.
   Once kids get old enough to drive – they usually hold jobs. Girlfriends hanging out and sleepovers are okay. Guys- probably not as comfortable sating overnite – they don’t talk all nite like girls.. (-:
   Depends on the kids. You have to be awear of your child and the people they are hanging around. You also need to know about other family members living in the home. Communication with the adults in the home is a must.
   unless there is a breach of trust like alcohol, drugs or sneaking out etc…..
   I don’t think you can be too old. It’s more a matter of trust and maturity.
   I’m fine with my high school kids having sleepovers.
   I have a senior and sophomore (both girls) in high school and they still have friends sleep over. I love the sound of extra kids in the house!
   no age
   It is some times easier for HS to sleep over so parents teen drivers are driving late at night.
   Selective homes / friends.
   When they can drive, it’s no longer a sleepover. It’s crashing at someone else’s place.
   One friend sleepovers *with* supervision for older kids doesn’t bother me. But sleepover parties as kids are older sound dangerous. I’d be more ok with them at my house or with a parent that I really trust.
   I’m not interested in multiple kids sleeping over in high school; too much possibility for trouble. But I’m okay with the kids inviting one friend to sleep over.
   No limit, but rarely necessary when they are driving.
   sleepovers are a good idea to keep young drivers off the road at late hours. Through high school is fine!
   If well supervised and same sex
   However, rules apply especially once they are old enough to drive.

4. Comments for Question 4. Do you think it is appropriate for kids to have sleepovers with kids of the opposite sex?  Click all that apply

   Pre-K-2nd grade is acceptable
   Depends on the relationship
   Case by case basis
   none
   It depends on the children involved.
   perhaps on occassions like prom
   Never
   If the other person is gay
   Depends on the kids
   It depends
   too dangerous
   not acceptable unless family
   Depends on the families.
   On a child by child individual basis
   Not necessary at any age. Just have a party!
   Depends on nature of the group
   Situational
   NO
   Has never even crossed my mind or been something my kids have wanted
   For special occasions like prom, I’m ok with a group sleepover.
   1st grade and younger
   really depends on the kids and the relationship
   See below
   see rules below
   NEVER
   That’s a tough question. It really depends on the kids. It’s more important to know the kids and their parents. I never let my boys stay somewhere without talking to a parent.
   If they sleep in different rooms
   Again depends on family relationship and where kids will sleep
   We have had family friends of opposite sex sleep over but I would never consider a school friend that is opposite sex.
   I still make them sleep in different rooms.
   We hosted several well chaperoned coed sleepover parties when my son was in high school at Marist.Usually after a prom, homecoming, or major event.Never had any problems! Just a little noisy. ..
   Never and I am weary about letting my daughter sleep over if there is a big brother
   Big NO on this one.
   appropriate for teenagers if for a supervised function.
   But they sleep in separate rooms.
   Or over 18 either.
   Opposite sex should go home at appropriate time
   We have found that in the right home with the right chaperoning, opposite sex sleepovers with boys in the basement, parents on the main floor and girls upstairs work just fine. It’s better than kids out driving after hours when there’s an event like prom or homecoming.
   Never, I never did, never heard of it growing up or I’ve never heard of it in this day and age.
   Other parents do not have the right to make a decision for opposite sex sleep overs without informing each child’s parents. Each child’s parent has the right to allow or not allow their child to attend.
   There may be exceptions, but as a rule, single gender sleepovers.
   Unless it’s a family friend and we are babysitting their kids for the night.
   Unless family
   once puberty hits, sleepovers may not be appropriate, but it depends on the situation and the parents of the kids involved
   We have friends children of both sexes that sometimes all sleep over.
   Opposite sex sleepovers are not appropriate at any age unless all of the children are related.
   Not appropriate..
   My kids never asked to have opposite sex sleepover. But I wouldn’t have allowed it without a problem with it, but my husband said he did have a problem with it. I had a male bff from 2nd grade to 12 grade and my parents would never let him sleepover because what others might think of my repretation and to prevent awkward and tempting occasions.
   Opposite sex sleep overs- never acceptable. Just asking for trouble!
   I personally would never let my kids sleepover at someone else’s house being the opposite sex. And, for the most part would not let kids of the opposite sex sleepover at my house. However, I have allowed one of my son’s friends who was a girl when they were in elementary school to sleepover to help her mom out several times and I could supervise. They are like brother and sister together even when they play.
   I can’t even imagine when this would be appropriate.
   I think if they’re supervised they can be very fun for the kids, in a safe environment.
   Nope, nope and nope!
   Depends on the nature of the friendships and the ages of the kids. And they should definitely not be in the same room, ever.
   must be parent supervision at all times; for middle and high school, separate rooms.
   Not together over pre-school age, but if chaperoned maybe when older.
   I can imagine exceptions, but in general, no.
   I think it’s acceptable at a young age, but sets a precedent. Therefore, may be better not to even start.
   Younger elementary, 1st – 3rd
   May be an exception for a close family friend when they are young.
   Up until 2nd or 3rd grade & only with very close family friends
   Wait…what?? Is this a serious question? Unless it’s a sleepover with an opposite sex cousin–and maybe not even too far into elementary school at that–I’m surprised that this is considered by enough people to even warrant the question. In my book, NEVER APPROPRIATE (again, unless with a close family member like a cousin) even when they’re little. (I don’t have time to consider ALL of these sleepover questions, but I did want to throw in the 2 cents here!)
   Anyone who clicks something other than “never appropriate” is crazy.
   The only exception being if, say, a girls was having a sleepover birthday party, and her brother was allowed to have his own guest, or vice versa.
   High school sleepovers if girls are on the top floor of a 2 story house and the boys are in the basement. Parents in between and firm rules established. Also, parents of teens need to contact host parents to ensure rules are put in place.
   Ive done it in the past, especially if the other Parents are good friends and they need a night out or the kids are really good friends. BUT – they did not sleep in the same bed, they slept in sleeping bags!
   by elementary school I don’t mean 5th grade. I more mean kindergarten and possibly 1st grade, but not beyond that.
   Once Married with YOUR Spouse

5. Comments for Question 5. Following are rules that some parents declare for sleepovers for older kids with access to phone/computers & tablets.  Please check all of the following rules that you believe are appropriate.   Leave the rule unchecked if you do not support or agree with it. 

   No smoking or alcohol
   There should be a designated time that technology should be turned off.
   It depends
   There should be adult supervision at all times
   Be smart and responsible.
   House Rules apply
   I would want to prevent anyone trying to sneak taking a picture of someone else and posting it online with or without consent. peer pressure makes you do dumb things and photos are never deleted.
   Sleepovers are suppose to be fun, as long as they aren’t bothering anyone. If you trust your kid to have a phone, then you should be able to trust them at any time.
   Parents need to communicate with other parents frequently! Too many times teenagers tell parents they are going to someone’s house for a sleepover only to end up going somewhere else, usually for parties. I always want to know not only that the other parents are allowing the sleepover but also what time the parent(s) get home and what plans are allowed that evening for the kids.
   Parents need to trust their kids or they have bigger issues than what happens at a sleepover
   I think that varies as to the age of the child…younger children should not be on phones/computers/tables or social media during the sleepover, but older kids should be allowed.
   The reason I hated sleepovers was always the next two days the kids are so cranky because they are exhausted and then it is back to the school schedule and their is no catching up.
   Most of this is not what I do with my 16 year old, other than not having alcohol accessible.
   Tech stuff is….tricky. No one wants children causing problems with computers, phones, etc. They are together to enjoy each others company. I think an evening without electronics could be fun! Banning them could work but remember that they are smart people and will find a way around restrictions–that is their job at this age.
   It’s all about knowing the kids who are sleeping over, their parents, etc. You have to trust your own kids to keep order without constant monitoring by parents once they are 11 and older. If they break that confidence, no more freedom. The younger ones need to be given a set bed time and have electronics taken away.
   The fun in a sleepover is staying up late!
   lock up alcohol only if there is a problem and the kids are older. bedtime for the younger set- not teenagers.
   It depends on the kids. I have no reason to suspect my kids of anything bad-sneak drinking, etc. I would maybe have rules if I did suspect something.
   Curfew is set by hosting parents but confirm of time by parents of kids sleeping over
   There should be an enforced bedtime, but you can’t make kids sleep. Our rule is they should be in bedroom with lights out at a certain time, and after that, se shouldn’t hear or see you. But if they want to lay there talking quietly that is fine.
   Once they are at my house, they are in. They are not allowed to go anywhere, except if they go out to breakfast the morning after.
   We’re still elementary, so haven’t given much thought to some of these more complex scenarios.
   Not quite there yet with having to lock up alcohol, but that is something we will have to think about.
   The more instruction, the better.
   All rooms should be left accessible to parents/adults, parents or overseeing/reasonsible adults should use all senses to monitor minors behavior for any of the following – pot, cocain, speed/LSD etc or doing things that are unnatural etc)
   Parents should set a bedtime for elementary and early middle school kids. The older ones go to bed much later than I do!
   We need to be sure our children are aware of the expectations from the start – before the sleepover occurs and it is their responsibility to share those details with their friends. Respect is important. If a guest violates the “rules” they should not be invited back. Standing over the kids during the sleepover should not be necessary.
   they should have access to their phone in the case of an emergency or uncomfortable situation
   Parents should lock up alcohol during sleepovers no matter what the ages are. Kids should not be tempted with the parents SINS.
   parents should be home during hours of sleepover and awake until the sleepover guests arrive (if they have been out for a party) for the night.
   On who he kids are.
   social media and tablets depends on the age and the kids
   Phones should be allowed for kids to be in contact with parents, but usage monitored.
   Parents should discuss what is acceptable entertainment for the kids. Such as what type movies are allowed.
   It’s hard to monitor social media posts, however I do say to the kids and especially my own before they go please do not post anything inappropriate or post anything to hurt anyone since not everyone was invited. I’ve never had any problems.
   I think each family has a different comfort level and a different set of rules. I’ve never thought about taking phones away because it has never occurred to me and I’ve never had a reason, yet. I’m not against it. There should always be rules.
   Please…….social media is their world…..at least in high school and beyond.
   I think texting other friends that weren’t invited to the sleepover is cruel. Texting/social networking should be banned during sleepovers.
   All depend on ages of kids…
   setting a bed time applies to younger kids… middle school and younger
   Parents should enforce their house rules and curfews when others sleep over.
   No phones or tablets. They are supposed to be enjoying one another not sit with their faces stuck in a phone or tablet.
   Some rules definitely age-dependent…
   I allow my kids/friends to “go to bed whenever they want” for parties only, and they are young enough that they are limited to our house; for just a single friend spending the night, I give them a lights’ out time.
   I haven’t thought about some of these before!
   I tell my high schooler that I want music and tv (any noise and lights off) by around 1 am. Middle Schooler around midnight. I figure they’ll get bored and go to sleep soon anyway. I have alarm system on windows and doors so I would hear if they tried to sneak out. No R or X rated movies allowed.
   kids going to sleep at a certain time was more of an issue with younger kids. 11th and 12th graders get tired and go to sleep at an earlier time than when they were younger and had a goal of staying up super late.

6. Comments for Question 6. Excluding sleepover PARTIES, do you think parents should be expected to reciprocate/return the favor with a sleepover at your house?

   Depends
   if possible
   See below
   Depends
   Sometimes
   At their discretion
   see below
   bc
   No
   Not expected but recommended
   its nice, but certainly not necessary
   Depends on who parents are.
   not necessarily
   It’s nice but not something I keep track of
   depends of whether you like the kid/s
   Depends on situation
   depends on the situation
   If able, depends on circumstances (eg those that work early on wkend mornings
   sometimes
   Circumstances permitting.
   “everyone has a different schedule – I have a friend who always has kids over but my schedule doesn’t allow that much freedom (early a.m. things to do- that kind of thing)

   I try to reciprocate when I can.”
   Yes, nice but not required.
   Depends on family dynamic
   Again, this depends – are the “other parents” using the opportunity for their child to sleep away as an alternate to a sitter or for selfish “time off”?
   It would be nice, especially when they are younger.
   Not all parents like company at their house. Different tolerance levels.
   Only if they expect a positive experience. If they can’t host for whatever reason, at least they could send nice snacks and drinks to the host’s home.
   if able
   not expected but nice.
   But I think everyone feels that way
   Some people enjoy hosting more than others.
   There maybe issues or responses why this should not be expected
   It is nice, but I’m not sure it is a social obligation that the reciprocation be a sleepover. Any activity should be acceptable reciprocation.
   It will happen eventually, but not immediately after the first sleepover
   I prefer to have sleepover at my house. I have to know a family well before I let my child sleep over
   Within a couple of months
   You (and your child) should invite people because you want to, not because you expect an invitation in return. If you feel you’ve been the host too often, don’t offer again. I like being the host as I know where the kids are and what they are doing.
   If they have the accommodations and would like to then yes but not everyone is in a situation to do so.
   Return the favor sleepovers should happen only if your child wants it and you know what kind of influence it may have on your child.
   There are certain friends that I don’t mind having at my house for a sleepover, but I don’t necessarily feel comfortable having my kids at the other child’s house.
   “I am bigger fan of having friends over and allowing then to go to dinner and stay ’til
   11 to watch a movie and then go home to their own beds..”
   Even if some parents do want to reciprocate I wouldn’t let my kids stay at several houses where I don’t feel the level of supervision that I need to feel comfortable would be there.
   I want the kids at my house. So I know they are safe.
   yes if it’s a friend you see frequently. Sometimes 2nd string friends sleepover and they don’t necessarily have to reciprocate.
   Do what’s right for you without expectations of others. Be kind to everyone and drop judgments. You really don’t know other peoples’ circumstances.
   It’s nice but some families just don’t reciprocate so why deny your child the pleasure of having a friend sleep over just because their parents don’t reciprocate? I’d always rather have the kids at my house anyway, that way I can keep an eye on what they’re doing.
   There should never be any expectation about friendships between children. However, if both kids want to spend the night with one another, parents should take turns. Also depends on the family’s circumstances, e.g. only child or child in large family, no. of beds in house, willingness of children to sleep in sleeping bags, etc.
   I don’t think it is ever ok to expect anything from anyone. However if my child is constantly the one inviting others over it would be nice for others to invite my child once in a while so I can have a break too.
   There are children I welcomed to come to my home but did not allow my child to go to theirs due to previous knowledge of home situation.
   I don’t think it’s expected, but some give and take is courteous.
   If the parents want to have a sleepover,
   I think this is up to the kids involved, if they would like another sleepover, but should do it at other person’s home.
   While I generally like to reciprocate, I think it should be
   Some parents just aren’t the type to want extra children in their home, and I wouldn’t exclude their daughters from sleeping over simply because it wouldn’t be reciprocated. But if they are good friends, and the other parents allow sleep-overs, then I expect some give-and-take.
   I think it’s the right thing to do assuming the child is well behaved, however I do t think it should be expected.

7. Comments for Question 7. This question is referencing sleepovers for YOUNG KIDS that are approximately under the age of 11.  Do you allow your child to sleep at someone’s house if you don’t know the parents?

   that is a hard call because you don’t know the parents of the kids your child knows. I think I would need to meet the parent before hand. I would have the other child sleep at our house first and then go from there.
   If it is a party and some parents I know are friends with the parents.
   I made one exception when I know the kid’s neighbor very well and the neighbor vouched for the parents who were hosting the sleepover.
   Never.
   Depends if my friends know the parents
   If it’s a kid you have known for awhile, it’s ok. Otherwise, no.
   Possibly, but I would need to at least have a phone conversation with them. If I didn’t feel good about the situation after that, then the answer would be no. I would also talk to parents I did know that also knew the parents in question and ask for feedback about them. “Reference Checking”, I guess you could say.
   I would always call and speak with them
   Only if it’s a birthday party sleepover
   Crucial to know the parents.
   If my friends know them it might be ok.
   Depends if I know other people that know the parents.
   ARE YOU CRAZY??
   It would be OK as long as I was able to speak to the parents and meet them when I drop my child off.
   But I wouldn’t let my kid sleep away from home unless kid was in 5th grade.
   Have to at least have a conversation. Also want to know how the kids know each other and how long they’ve been friends.
   Call and talk first – discuss expectations
   My children do not attend school in our neighborhood, so they have many friends that I may not know the parents well. I would certainly call the parents and go inside to meet them and chat before letting my child stay. I also ask a few questions about chaperoning and rules.
   I know them from school functions but maybe not as intimately as I would like
   absolutely necessary to know the parents! check to see how discipline is handled. are there guns in the house? pets in the house?
   Depends on the situation. Not without a phone cLl, but maybe without having met.
   Typically not but maybe with older kids if I know the kids well
   I check with other parents I know to see if they know the family then I would make sure I meet and talk to the parents.
   Never, never.. Always know the parents and know them well. Know if they have same parenting skills. Know if there are older siblings..
   If I didn’t know the parent I would try to switch it to my house. I also would tap my circle of other moms for references.
   I would talk with the parents and ask questions regarding activities, bedtime and supervision. I would also talk to other parents who know these particular parents.
   No way!
   I would want to talk to the parents first.
   But I walk up the door when dropping off my child and introduce myself!
   Would encourage play dates first, and weekend meetups with the other family
   Depends if others know parents or how long child has known other child and in what context.
   If I know parents of other children attending who are friends with the parents.
   I feel it is important to know the people before your child is allowed to spend the night.
   Hasn’t come up yet – maybe if I’ve at least spoken to them. Probably prefer a playdate first.
   IF I know the child very well & have at least spoken with the parent over the phone. I tell my children that if they are ever uncomfortable to call or text us at any time & we’ll come get them
   HOLY COW, NO!!
   not on an intial visit. possibly after i get to know them better
   Would call them first and chat about their rules to determine if they work for me.

8. Comments for Question 8. This question is referencing sleepovers for kids aged 12 and up.  Do you allow your child to sleep at someone’s house if you don’t know the parents?

   that is a hard call because you don’t know the parents of the kids your child knows. I think I would need to meet the parent before hand. I would have the other child sleep at our house first and then go from there.
   If my friends know the parents.
   Not sure yet and depends which child and whether host had older siblings…
   Not sure, my kids are not that old yet.
   Not applicable to me
   Never.
   My answer is the same as it was for #7.
   Again, a call is ALWAYS appropriate–this is the age that lying really begins for these kids
   Only if it’s a birthday party
   Depends on how well I know the child and if other parents I trust know the parents
   Must be at same school
   Same as above.
   Not sure how that will work. My kids are at Davis and I have known most of the parents for years. When they go to public high school it is a lot harder to get to know the parents. I guess I’ll have to know the kid fairly well.
   if i dont know them personally- i would have to meet them in their home first
   not there yet
   I would need to meet the parents at drop off or speak with them on the phone prior to the sleep over.
   I would call the parent to ensure they are home the entire time, not leaving kids with a baby-sitter. Usually, my child’s friends I am at least semi-familiar with them and if not, I network to find out more info.
   Call and talk first – discuss expectations
   Only if the invitation came from a parent. I would make sure to meet the parent(s) when dropping off my child.
   If I speak to them on the phone and know of them.
   Same answer as above: my children do not attend school in our neighborhood, so they have many friends that I may not know the parents well. I would certainly call the parents and go inside to meet them and chat before letting my child stay. I also ask a few questions about chaperoning and rules.
   Depends on how long/how well kids know each other
   absolutely necessary to know the parents! check to see how discipline is handled. are there guns in the house? pets in the house?
   Yes because I trust my own.
   But I don’t like it so I try to have sleepover at my house
   Same as #7
   Never…
   I need to have contact with the parent(s) to answer questions about supervision in the home during sleepover. We didn’t quite know my son’s friends in high school (age 14) and had them first sleepover at our house to get to know the friends and the parents.
   Same as 7.
   At some point you have to trust your child’s judgement, if you don’t trust their judgement then they shouldn’t be going. I still would talk with the parents and ask questions regarding activities, bedtime and supervision. I would also talk to other parents who know these particular parents.
   This has become relevant in high school. I always call the parents to introduce myself and it’s worked out so far.
   I don’t expect to know all of my kids’ friends’ parents. However, I would want to talk to them in person at drop off or before the sleepover.
   But would definitely call the other family before allowing it
   Only if the parents are known by another parent that I DO know and whose values I trust.
   Depends if others know parents or how long child has known other child and in what context. Less likely for older children because ability for “trouble” increases with age.
   If I know parents of other children attending who are friends with the parents.
   I always want to meet the people.
   would talk to the parents first and understand who will be home, the plan, etc
   Would introduce them to make sure I knew the plan.
   Case by case basis
   HOLY COW, NO!!
   If I have heard a lot about a child over the years but haven’t had the opportunity to meet the parents, I would be happy to meet them and let my child sleep over at a particular age (late elementary or middle school)
   I’d expect to have a conversation at least, and would always invite parents that I don’t know to stay a bit at my house, or meet me first, before a sleepover. i’d be most comfortable with parents who do the same. I also might allow a sleepover with a parent I don’t know if I have a close friend who knows the parents and can vouch for the parents.
   Only if another parent that I know, knows the host parents well.
   My child has charged cell phone with him and I’ve talked with parent ahead of time and I’ve heard son talk about child over and over so I know it isn’t a new friend but instead is an established friend or that I have met the friend in the neighborhood, carpool, at a game, another sleep over, etc
   I always meet them and defiantly confirm that if is ok for my child to be there.
   middle schools seems to be when you may no longer know parents so I would call and ask about their rules. In my experience once they hit high school, they have a small steady group of friends and I know them pretty well and their families. I would only let them stay there or things could get crazy/wild.
   At least need to know others who know the parent fairly well

9. Comments for Question 9. This question is referencing kids 11 and under. Should parents have been to the home where the sleepover is taking place before considering allowing their child to sleepover?

   Ideally, but if I get a lot of positive feedback from friends that know the parents in question then I would feel much more comfortable about letting my child sleepover.
   Parents would need to know if there are guns in the house.
   It helps our comfort level to see if the house has any safety issues.
   Usually kids will have a play date first and I will have dropped off and picked up. If not, OK if I know the family.
   But parent should have general idea about behavior and habits of hosting parent.
   I would definitely want to know the parents fairly well, and I would take my child to the house – just so I could scope it out.
   Call and talk first – discuss expectations
   If you don’t know anything about the family.
   It’s always a good idea to conduct a pre-visit of the other parents’/guardians abode
   It depends on what I think when I have a phone conversation with the parent after the invitation and prior to taking my child to an unfamiliar home.
   Not necessarily, as long as I know the parents
   I trust school kids at the private school my daughter attends currently and know that parents are all very well off. SO not as concerned about house as people in them
   absolutely necessary to see the house. Is it clean? Are there bedbugs in the building if the family lives in an apartment? (Yes, this has been an issue in our family)
   You need to know the charter, life style and parents relationship before allowing your child go to some ones house for a sleepover.
   I always know parents and where they live.
   This would be my preference, but there are always exceptions.
   My kids have never gone to the neighborhood school, though they’ve been involved in neighborhood activities. It is much more difficult when kids come from all over the area to get to know other kids families and especially to actually be in their home. You make the best decision you can with the information you have.
   Follow instincts. Be smart.
   Depends if others know parents or how long child has known other child and in what context.
   Depends on parental relationships and word of mouth references.
   At least should have been invited to the home or to meet the parents.
   Probably
   I know this sounds crazy but I started asking if the family had firearms in the house. Over protective safety mom here.
   It depends on the situation. My daughter attended a sleepover in the neighborhood at a family’s home I had never been in. One of the girls attending the sleepover is very good friends with my daughter and her mother knew the host mother. So… I applied the six degrees of separation rule and thought it was OK.
   call first and talk to parents about their rules.

10. Comments for Question 10. This question is referencing kids 12 and up.  Should parents have been to the home where the sleepover is taking place before considering allowing their child to sleepover?

    This also depends on the child’s school community. We are in a private school system where the kids grow up together and we are a community of people who know each other. I would feel differently if in public school and don’t know anything about host.
    Not applicable to me
    My answer is the same as #9 – to me, there isn’t a huge difference between 10/11 or 12/13 when it comes to this subject matter.
    Parents should know where there kid is sleeping.
    Not really practical for older kids when you don’t know a kit of the parents. But I would like to know where my kid is staying!
    Not there yet
    slightly unrealistic by high school age, but I would certainly make sure I had talked to the parents before I allowed my son to sleep over at someone’s house.
    Call and talk first – discuss expectations
    See above
    Same answer as above: It depends on what I think when I have a phone conversation with the parent after the invitation and prior to taking my child to an unfamiliar home.
    Not necessarily, as long as I know the parents
    absolutely necessary to see the house. Is it clean? Are there bedbugs in the building if the family lives in an apartment? (Yes, this has been an issue in our family)
    You want to know the environment your child is stepping into. This is why I prefer to be the host.
    Same comment in question 9 applies here also.
    But should know parents
    We’ve allowed other parents run out on errands (say with other siblings) but they are home supervisoring the majority of the time.
    This would be my preference, but there are always exceptions.
    This has become relevant to us since starting high school
    Follow instincts. Be smart.
    Depends if others know parents or how long child has known other child and in what context.
    They don’t have to be there the whole night, but they definitely need to sleep there!
    I have allowed this – but have asked mutual friends about the family/home.
    Same comment as question 8
    No, but I’d call first and speak to parents to be sure they will be home and only one gender and they are aware of sleep-over etc.

11. Comments for Question 10. This question is referencing kids 12 and up.  Should parents have been to the home where the sleepover is taking place before considering allowing their child to sleepover?

    This also depends on the child’s school community. We are in a private school system where the kids grow up together and we are a community of people who know each other. I would feel differently if in public school and don’t know anything about host.
    Not applicable to me
    My answer is the same as #9 – to me, there isn’t a huge difference between 10/11 or 12/13 when it comes to this subject matter.
    Parents should know where there kid is sleeping.
    Not really practical for older kids when you don’t know a kit of the parents. But I would like to know where my kid is staying!
    Not there yet
    slightly unrealistic by high school age, but I would certainly make sure I had talked to the parents before I allowed my son to sleep over at someone’s house.
    Call and talk first – discuss expectations
    See above
    Same answer as above: It depends on what I think when I have a phone conversation with the parent after the invitation and prior to taking my child to an unfamiliar home.
    Not necessarily, as long as I know the parents
    absolutely necessary to see the house. Is it clean? Are there bedbugs in the building if the family lives in an apartment? (Yes, this has been an issue in our family)
    You want to know the environment your child is stepping into. This is why I prefer to be the host.
    Same comment in question 9 applies here also.
    But should know parents
    We’ve allowed other parents run out on errands (say with other siblings) but they are home supervisoring the majority of the time.
    This would be my preference, but there are always exceptions.
    This has become relevant to us since starting high school
    Follow instincts. Be smart.
    Depends if others know parents or how long child has known other child and in what context.
    They don’t have to be there the whole night, but they definitely need to sleep there!
    I have allowed this – but have asked mutual friends about the family/home.
    Same comment as question 8
    No, but I’d call first and speak to parents to be sure they will be home and only one gender and they are aware of sleep-over etc.

12. Comments for Question 11. This question is referencing kids 11 and under.  How long should kids know each other before having a sleepover?

    Case by case basis
    How comfortable parents feel about other family.
    depends on the kids
    Case by case. Kids make friends faster than adults do.
    not sure
    doesn’t matter
    I don’t think this matters as much as the other factors
    Depends
    Depends per individual
    Depends on the families
    It depends
    doesn’t matter
    depends on the age
    depends on how good of friends they are
    depends
    a few months
    depends on what I know about the family
    I don’t think there is a time limit for this
    Depends on school community.
    Are parents part of our community of friends? Most important we know parents well.
    Some flexibility here.
    I always call the parents before a sleep over to get the scoop and make sure everyone is on the same page.
    It all depends on how good a friend the families are, I think.
    I think it depends on how well they know each other and how much time they have spent together rather than length of time.
    That question has never been factored in at our house, but then again, all sleepovers are with kids we’ve know all their lives
    Follow instincts. Be smart.
    Come on, really?? Kids get to know each other quickly in school
    I think it matters more if they’ve played together some and been to the house, than the length of the friendship.
    Completely dependent on the relationship of the parents to one another.
    Depend son whether they are mature enough for a sleepover and whether it is a party or not.
    Depends on if I know the parents and the child
    If you know the parents, and/or have been to the house like I agreed with, the time frame wouldn’t matter.
    Some children can become good friends quickly, so I don’t think amount of time knowing someone is too important.

13. Comments for Question 12. This question is referencing kids 12 and up.  How long should kids know each other before having a sleepover?

    Unsure
    Comfort level with family not based on time known.
    depends on the kids
    doesn’t matter
    See above
    Depends on individual
    Depends on the kids
    See Comment
    It depends
    see #11
    just depends on the situation
    depends
    depends
    a few months
    depends on what I know about the family
    Depends on the kids involved
    Not applicable to me
    The longer you’ve known them the better.
    Same as above.
    Is this relevant? Not sure, do you trust your kids judgement?
    Follow instincts. Be smart.
    See #11
    see #11
    Same comment as #11

14. Comments for Question 13. For middle and high school aged sleepovers where the kids are often attempting to arrange sleepovers without much parent interaction, should parents call each other to confirm the plans and introduce themselves?

    Depebds
    maybe
    Dnk
    depends on the families
    Depends on age
    6-10 definitely; maybe more leeway in grades 11 and 12
    Email is fine
    Ansolutely
    it depends on who the kids are
    Depends on who it is, if any of my friends know them
    It is nice but not mandatory
    maybe
    at least text
    At least a text confirming the arrangements
    good idea!
    Depends on the situation, but I usually do this at the drop off.
    My kids are under 12
    Always!
    Absolutely!!
    ABSOLUTELY!!!!
    Always!!!!!!
    “Middle school…yes, parents should confirm plans directly
    High school, I usually send a text thanking the parents in advance for having my daughter over. When there are several kids staying at one house, I often send cookies or chips to the other house with my child!”
    Absolutely!!!
    Having been a teenager and arranged sleepovers that didn’t necessarily happen, YES!
    the first time.
    DUH!
    I would not want my child sleeping over at a house where the parents are unaware or not home.
    I’m very unpopular with my child about this but I do confirm plans.
    Absolutely. Kids may roll their eyes, but it’s definitely a must to ensure the safety of your child and to let them know that YOU know what they’re up to.
    Excellent question…can’t wait to hear these results.
    Aboslutely!!!
    Depends on who it is, if any of my friends know them, where they live
    they should at least have the other parents’ contact info.
    Talking at drop off is fine.
    “Middle school yes
    high school no”
    They should be in touch someway
    Absolutely and to confirm that the parents will be home during the sleepover
    ALWAYS!
    I think so. I’m not there yet, but my gut says yes.
    I ask my children to let me know how many to expect for dinner/breakfast. Parents need to enable their children to coordinate details and communicate appropriately to parents.
    The best rule of thumb is to make contact with all parents so that you know what the kids are up to and making sure there isn’t any funny business going on.
    Although this doesnt happen often enough we should do more of it. Trust… ðŸ~”
    Most definitely!!
    or text
    Oh, heck yeah!
    I’ve been told so many times by my children that I’m the only parent that calls and its embarrassing and I say, “I don’t care what other parent’s do or don’t do.” I call parent unless it is a long-term friend (2 or more yrs) and I know the parent well and my child has slept over several times and their child has slept over at my house several times.
    always

15. Comments for Question 14. If you don’t know the parents of the kid inviting your child to sleepover do you….(multiple answers are allowed)

    Set up a time to meet the parent having the sleepover
    TALK TO YOUR CHILD!
    Yes, if know parents through others
    Initially say no until know the parents
    Meet the parents and the child.
    Ask my child questions
    Be sure to meet parents at drop off
    Offer to have the child over for a play date instead
    tell my child that I will make the final decision
    Or email the parents
    Ask parents I know for information about them.
    maybe say no
    Not sure yet but I do want to know where my child will be and who will be there.
    We have lost this common courtesy anymore
    Plan something more fun to do that night!
    I probably would need to know parents before allowing
    Depends on the child. One child is fine, the other needs to be checked up on.
    I also let my children that they can call me at any time if they feel uncomfortable about staying. I have gone to pick one of my children up before the end of a planned sleepover on one occasion.
    Depending on age. Middle schoolers thru 9th grade I would call the parents
    Depends on child’s age.
    Parents need to know who will be in charge and the ground rules.
    I always want to know the family.
    I wouldn’t have been as comfortable with this when my kids were in the 6th grade. Now that they’re in high school it’s the norm, as they’re social circle has expanded way beyond the neighborhood
    It is on a case by case basis
    I don’t ask too many questions because I generally trust my kids but defiantly introduce myself.

16. Comments for Question 15. Check all of the following that you think are good questions to ask a potential sleepover host parent: 

    Outdoor trampoline &I safety.
    What are your phone numbers?
    Do you confiscate car keys?
    What will the kids be doing. Dietary restrictions. Medications
    all of the above
    I think all the questions are great to ask, but not always easy to start the conversation. My son only has sleepovers with parents we know so most not an issue but I would want to ask if I did not know the parents
    Some of these questions I can ask my older child.
    (I don’t have kids – all responses are hypothetical)
    With high school kids, are you going to monitor their behavior or just go upstairs and hope for the best.
    I don’t ask anything except when to pick up! Maybe I should!
    Yeah, maybe I won’t let my kid s sleep over somewhere if I don’t know the answer to these without having to ask.
    The pick up time question is critical! Want to be a good guest! 🙂 Other than asking for phone numbers, I rely on my instincts and knowledge of the parents to guide my inquiries, which are generally short. Once, I was the (mean) mom who reneged on a sleepover, and later it was made clear that I did the right thing.
    Your children are your most precious “asset” – never be ashamed to ask too many questions. I have seen people grill boarding employees more about their pet stays than they do when their child is going to a sleepover! That’s crazy! If I do not feel comfortable about a sleepover situation then the answer is no. I don’t care about ridicule – I am a parent to my kids first and a friend to them second. Their safety and wellbeing is always the paramount concern.
    I think all of this can be covered without multiple direct questions in a normal conversation with the parent/s of the child whose house your child is going to. Another good thing is to find out if anyone has been ill in the home recently
    I always ask if they are going anywhere and if so I send my child with some money for pizza or movie tickets.
    My kids are little so I would ask all of the above!
    These are all great questions but the other parent would think you are super paranoid if you asked them all. 🙂
    I was much too naive when my kids were young and in addition the kids are exposed to so much more now. Dangerous then- more dangerous now.
    all above questions appropriate depending on your child and the situation and the other family.
    It all comes down to how much you trust your kid. I would worry about guns or a pool with very young kids, but not older. If you don’t trust your kids (and their friend) then they shouldn’t go on the sleepover.
    i didn’t think to ask some of these until reading this survey.
    Supervision is the key question. Also, how hands on are they to ensure no bullying happening.
    Question is broad spectrum as no age given so all apply unless broken down to specific ages and gender.
    I ask about pets becasue by children have pet allergies.
    “I pretty much know all the kids and families where my kids sleep over, so I know their values, safety status, and parenting techniques.
    While I think most of these questions are pertinent, I do not “”grill”” the other parents before a sleepover. I trust the parents (and kids), and my kids don’t sleep at their house unless I do trust them.”
    I’d be embarrassed to ask a lot of these questions. If I didn’t trust the parent enough that I had to ask, I wouldn’t let my child sleep over.
    All of these questions are good and appropriate and sadly, the only one I’ve ever asked is about bedtime and what time to pick up
    parents are responsible for the safety and well being for their children.
    I think some of these questions are good for elementary kids, but as the parent of 2 middle school girls, I usually don’t ask these questions. However, most of their friends that they are spending the night with I already know their parents.
    Usually you know the parents or can find out from your kids.
    Our son is 25 so we are past this age. I may be old fashioned but I believe too many rules may be better than not enough rules. We have seen too many out of control kids!
    Either I was a very lax parent or parenting has gotten very intense in the past few years! My girls are older now but I never worried about most of these things. I trust that most adults have these things under control.
    its easier to have them sleep at my home..but harder for me but its worth it !!
    All the checked ones except the first 3 which I would want to know regardless, depend on the age of the kid and what type of kid you have, and how much you know about the other family
    If you know the host, you usually know the answers
    “These are ALL good questions but I don’t necessarily ask all of them because I feel if I need to ask this many questions I don’t know them well enough to have my child stay there.
    We all take risks when we allow our children under the care of someone else. My hope is that we never put our kids at risk and we make sound judgements not because our kids are pressuring us or because we feel like we need to say yes for them to fit in but because we have evaluated the situation and it is safe.”
    I think all of these are good questions, but I never asked them. It seems overboard to me…like you’re interviewing the parents.
    If I had specific concerns I would address them with the host. I would also ask my friends for references. I think if a parent started asking me all these questions I would think they were a little crazy….. This survey brings up a lot of great points, but is a tough topic with a lot of exceptions.
    all of the questions are good if you have any doubt. many of the questions are age appropriate as some questions I don’t bother asking any more since mine are older! i’ve never thought to ask about guns. we have them and so do some of our friends. the parents i’ve spoken to have always volunteered who is staying the night so i’ve not had to ask.
    I did not answer this because I only have young children so I have not considered these issues yet, however at first thought, I feel like if you have to ask these kinds of questions, you do not know these parents well enough to let your child spend the night. I might think differently as my kids get older – I will have to wait and see 🙂
    Most of these questions would be for parents you don’t already know. Since my kids haven’t slept over at kids houses that I don’t already know I don’t usually feel it’s necessary to ask all of these questions.
    Again, follow instincts. Be smart.
    no question is out of bounds…. its your child… their safety is #1 priority
    These questions reek of helicopter parenting. Ask questions that will give you peace of mind.
    I think the majority of the questions are ok to ask, but you also get a feel for people when you talk with them, so I don’t think I would ask all of the questions. When I talk with a parent regarding a sleepover, I am forthcoming with all activities and where they are going to sleep before a kid is dropped off. It is all part of the conversation and getting to know the parents prior to allowing your child to spend the night.
    Yikes, with all these questions I’m thinking I need to ask more than I currently do
    I’ve never asked most of these questions but probably should have.
    I don’t know if I’d really ask these questions, but I’d hope I would. As kids get older, I’ll have to trust them more to know what we allow and to comply.
    I like all of these questions for younger kids. For older kids, I think the ones I checked are fine.
    These questions are all great, and make me think that I should be asking more questions. Some answers depend on age. In general, I may be more trusting than I should be. I guess I am also worried about offending someone I don’t know very well by asking so many questions, although I would not be offended at all if these questions were asked of me. Great survey, and emphasizes that even if you know people socially, you really have no idea what rules they have, and what goes on in their home.
    Pet question is for allergies
    A parent can and should ask any question they want before allowing their child to spend the night. Each family may have different questions or rules.
    Our love for our kids now prompts us to not believe in the wisdom of sleepovers any more. There are too many PARENTS you can’t truly know to a secure degree, too many older SIBLINGS that no one expects to behave badly, too much naivety among parents about what curious kids “surely WON’T do” w/unsupervised computer access, & on it goes. We let our kids have all the fun they can possibly squeeze in, good fun & lots of it w/plenty of friends, but when it’s time to sleep, it’s back home.
    Some of the questions above I may ask IF that issue is of concern to my child particularly.
    Many of the other question are things I address with my kids before the sleepover – review the things they should do in those situations.
    I have asked the questions checked, but not always. It depends on the age and maturity of my child. I am never offended if asked any of the questions by other parents. I want them to feel as comfortable as possible with their decision to let their child stay over.
    These are all great questions. Doesn’t mean I’m good about asking them, but I do think they are important.
    “If there are guns, alcohol or drugs in your house are they securely locked, is the way I would phrase the question?
    I think more likely to get an honest and comfortable answer.”
    All of these choices make me realize that I am not as worried as I should be. I think that may be good and bad?!?
    These questions are really good but I probably wouldn’t have the nerve to ask even some of the good ones to someone I had never met. I mostly want to know a) they are aware and my kid will be there and nowhere else and b) they will be home.
    I usually don’t ask pointed questions of a parent I don’t know but instead try to get a feel for the parent over the phone. I mostly trust the trust of mutual friends when deciding if it is ok or not
    Actually I would want answers to all of the above but would never have the nerve to ask. One sleepover my 11 year old son attended with 10 other kids was a disaster. The Mom drank too much and passed out on the couch. She left the kids all night in the basement which walked right out to their pool. Thank god no one was hurt but when I think about it I get sick to my stomach.

17. hi Audra!!!

    hope all is well with you.

    Just wanted to drop you a note regarding the sleepover survey. I so appreciate you doing that. There are so many things that I hadn’t thought of that you included in the survey. Really cool idea.

    Have a great day!!
    Rebecca
    ________________________________________