Dear Tatiana,
How old do you think kids should be before getting their first smart phone? There seems to be so many dangers and I’m just not sure my middle schooler is equipped to handle the dangers, the distractions and the peer pressure. However, it seems that everyone in her middle school has a smart phone and has free reign to Snap Chat and post Instagram photos practically whenever and however they please. What are some things that I can say to her to help her understand that I don’t think she’s ready and don’t really care that “everyone else has one.” I don’t want her to think I’m picking on her; I just wish more parents would recognize the dangers of social media and band together and make the kids wait until they are in high school…or at least 8th grade!
Signed,
Am I Crazy?
Dear Am I Crazy?,
The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act prevents children under the age of 13 from providing any identifying information online without their parents consent. Therefore, most social media platforms are 13 and up with the exception of one that requires you to be 16.
Identifying the appropriate age to provide a child a phone really depends on the family situation.
Phones should be provided to children when there are no other ways for children and parents to be in contact with one another when contact is necessary.
Social media is different than just access to a phone. Social media is a tough road for adults to navigate, nonetheless children with neurologically less decision-making ability. Kids are under a tremendous amount of stress these days. Their peers having 24/7 access to them limits time for them to re-charge and re-group. It also takes away time to connect with family. I highly recommend delaying social media until after 8th grade graduation. Social media really is an essential part of high school communication. Giving your child the summer to learn how to appropriately connect with others through social media under your watchful eye (know their passwords for all accounts and connect with them on each platform) will promote the positive aspects of social media and lessen the likelihood of potential negative consequences. You may not be the most popular parent setting these sorts of limits, but love them enough to do what is hard (listening to them grumble) for their greater good.
Best,
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